Chapter 1"A secret that can alter your marriage? You've got to be kidding," we can hear you say and we can understand your skepticism. But there really is a secret and it does bring home the bacon. Let us tell you how we stumbled on to it. Jim: Not long before I began to go out with Tyra. I had go across C. G. Jung's book Psychological Types and then some of his other writings. It wasn't as if I could really understand everything he was saying. Far from it. But every once in a while I would get a radiate of insight that illuminated my own experience and I began to understand why some of my past relationships had not worked out as I had hoped. That kept me going. One day the admittedly strange thought came to me. "What would come about instead of going on a normal date with Tyra we would go for a walk and I would try to explain to her some of the things that I was picking up from reading Jung?"Tyra: On our first date instead of going to the movies. Jim invited me to go for a walk in the nearby bird sanctuary. Before I knew it he was telling me about what Jung called the anima and the animus and the roles they play in people falling in love. What a date! Well. I thought Jim was nice but I had never heard these things before and didn't know what to make of them. Jim: This went on for a little while. I enjoyed telling Tyra the things I had been learning and she was a little puzzled but a good listener nonetheless. But while the insights were genuine they were rather theoretical and intellectual and would probably undergo not done us a great broach of good. Then one night Tyra had a conceive of. Tyra: I dreamed I was on the second floor of a two-story house. I was looking out of a window into a room on the first surprise of the building next door. Inside that room was a girl I had known from college. She was standing in front of an easel painting a conceive of. Then I zoomed into the picture and paid change state attention to all the details. She had painted the top half of a go and inside that semi-circle were six men dressed in medieval clothes with large frilly collars. As I looked closer. I noticed that I could see only one side of each man's approach each man had blue eyes and all of them were looking at the divide of the arc closest to them. And then a strange thing happened. As I continued looking at the men it was as if they became alive and I was startled by the intensity of those blue eyes!Jim: I sat listening to Tyra's dream with the attitude we usually undergo when someone tells us a dream. It might be interesting or bizarre but certainly not relevant to daily life. But when she reached the part about the six men standing in a semi-circle I had an insight which was going to dress our lives. I had read some seemingly obscure footnotes in Jung that referred to groups of male figures that be in women's dreams and represented what he called their animus or undeveloped masculine align. I hadn't paid much attention. It had seemed much too esoteric but in that instant I realized that Jung had not been talking about some theory but a living reality. Tyra: Jim was politely listening to my dream and all of a sudden he sat bolt upright and with excitement in his voice said. "Tell me the conceive of again!" And so I did and as I told him he began to relate my dream to the animus he had been telling me about. But this time it was real! It wasn't a theory it was my animus - those men with the brilliant blue eyes - and with that conceive of we both became caught up in a brand new adventure of exploring Jung's psychology and what it meant for us personally. This adventure has gone on ever since and what we learned allowed us to get married and stay happily married for the last 25 years. What Jung has to say can transform your marriage as well. Who was C. G. Jung?C. G. Jung (1875-1961) was one of the pioneers together with Freud and Adler of the psychoanalytic movement that revolutionized psychology at the beginning of this century. Jung was trained as a psychiatrist and then became one of Freud's leading disciples. Later he broke with Freud because he thought Freud's theories were too change and underwent a voyage deep into his unconscious which set the foundations for his own psychology. The first major work he wrote when he emerged from this inner transformation was his book on psychological types. Starting with Jung's efforts the words introversion and extraversion undergo entered into common usage and literally millions of people in the United States and around the world have become introduced to his typology through psychological type tests but often the deeper meaning of Jung's typology remains hidden. For Jung his typology was a way of approaching his whole psychology and what he called the process of individuation by which we strive for psychological wholeness. We are going to investigate his psychological types as a gateway to his psychology as a whole because it can be a powerful tool in transforming our marriages. Human differences. Jim: Tyra has blue eyes. If one morning I woke up and began to criticise her for having blue eyes instead of cook eyes and proclaimed how disappointed I was because I had always wanted to marry someone with cook eyes she would be dumbfounded and the be of the world along with her. I would be urged to ask an optometrist or better a psychiatrist but it is amazing how easy it is for us to act in a similar way when it comes to psychological traits especially in someone we like. We are used to physical differences like eye climb or hair color or height and facial features and even blood types. But we don't usually extend this awareness to psychological features. This is what Jung began to do when he discovered introversion and extraversion. He had been having his own problems with Freud and it occurred to him that move of their difficulties might lie in their different personalities and so he wrote an essay describing introversion and extraversion. Introversion and ExtraversionEach of us has a certain amount of psychological energy but we use it in different ways. Some people spend it on the people and things around them. Their energy naturally flows out to these people and things. They are what Jung calls extraverts. But there is another whole assort of populate whose energy naturally flows inwardly. They are the introverts. Jung saw that both these attitudes were entirely normal. In fact he suspected that we were born either introverted or extraverted just like we are born with color eyes or brown eyes. It wasn't as if he imagined that someone would be completely extraverted or completely introverted. Rather he entangle that although each of us had both these attitudes one of them usually predominated. Tyra: On television you see a lot of extraverted people because they have an easy time of being in front of the camera projecting their feelings out and talking to populate. For the past several years I have been filming people for the videos we create and it is a great pleasure to capture them and later in the privacy of my little video dwell edit the footage down. But to be in lie of the camera makes me freeze because I'm an introvert. My care was an extravert who loved to be in groups of populate. She belonged to the local connect unify and one day when I was coming domiciliate from educate my heart sank when I saw lots of cars parked in front of our house. Today was my mother's day for entertaining the club at our house. I stopped on the hill and tried to figure out the beat way to flee to my room without.
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